Fast Car
by TheMisfitToy
Summary: A songfic based on Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. AU, Destiel. Angst.


I do not own Supernatural, or any of the associated characters. Based on the song 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman, A/U Italics are lyrics

_You got a fast car_

_And I want a ticket to go anywhere_

_Maybe we make a deal_

_Maybe together we can get somewhere_

_Anyplace is better_

_Starting from zero got nothing to lose_

_Maybe we'll make something_

_But me myself I got nothing to prove_

Dean Winchester raced down the darkened back streets of Lawrence Kansas, the engine of his black '67 impala growling and snarling in the late night silence. His father and he had once again come to blows in regards to his long-time boyfriend, Castiel Novak. Sick of the constant snide comments and flat out abuse he received on a daily basis, sick of constantly trying to prove his worth to his father, Dean had snapped, smacked John Winchester square in the face and flown to his bedroom to throw his belongings into a dusty duffel he kept in his dresser. Pulling up to a dingy set of apartment blocks, Dean cut the engine of his beloved baby and climbed out, slamming the door behind him. Stalking towards the battered, graffiti covered door that lead to the entrance hall for the ground level of cramped, apartments, nose wrinkling in disgust as he passed a used syringe on his way to apartment _'337'_. When he reached the dented metal door, he banged loudly three times, waiting for his boyfriend to let him in.

_You got a fast car_

_And I got a plan to get us out of here_

_I been working at the convenience store_

_Managed to save just a little bit of money_

_We won't have to drive too far_

_Just 'cross the border and into the city_

_You and I can both get jobs_

_And finally see what it means to be living_

"Dean, what are you doing here?" A confused Castiel asked, head tilting to one side at the unexpected appearance of his boyfriend.

"I can't take it any more Cas, I've left… For good this time." Dean replied, stepping into the doorway as the dark haired owner stood aside, silently welcoming him in. This was not the first time

"Look Dean, you've got a fast car, and maybe we can go someplace better, together. Just us, I mean, any place is better than a town where we're constantly abused, ridiculed and heckled for our love." Cas said, leading his lover to the Spartan decorated lounge, sitting gently down on the old, worn couch.

"It'd mean starting from zero, and we'd be starting from nothing Cas" Dean replied, flopping down next to Castiel, and sinking into the sagging couch cushions.

"Not quite. I've got a plan, I've saved some money from my job at the convenience store on fifth, it's not far to get to state lines, maybe two hours driving tops. We could head into the city, get jobs, find a place, free from the dirty, judgemental looks." The raven haired man's eyes where lighting up with every passing word, and he'd started pacing in front of the sofa, Dean's eyes following the curve of his ass.

_You see my old man's got a problem_

_He live with the bottle that's the way it is_

_He says his body's too old for working_

_I say his body's too young to look like his_

_My mama went off and left him_

_She wanted more from life than he could give_

_I said somebody's got to take care of him_

_So I quit school and that's what I did_

As Castiel continued on his tirade of reasons why they should go and never look back, Dean found his boyfriend's excitement to be infectious, and could rapidly feel himself coming round to the idea. For years he'd felt trapped in the small town of Lawrence, ever since his mother had left him, his baby brother and –by this point- alcoholic father, who would disappear for weeks at a time all those years ago. After John lost his job, he'd started drinking heavily, and Mary, unable to watch her husband waste his life away, had left one night in the middle of winter, leaving a note on the kitchen table.

Dean as the eldest, felt responsible for looking Sammy, his younger brother who was only seven when their mom left, and had tried his best to look after both his father and his brother. The perfect son, Dean dropped out of high school during his junior year to care for his dad after his drinking left him with chronic liver disease.

_You got a fast car_

_But is it fast enough so we can fly away_

_We gotta make a decision_

_We leave tonight or live and die this way_

Sam had high tailed it out of there as soon as he finished high school, getting a full ride to Stanford, and Dean had encouraged him to go, and pursue his dreams of being a lawyer. Resigned to living a life of caring for their father. They still kept in touch, and Sam came back whenever he could swing it to try and give Dean a break, but things were strained at best between the youngest Winchester and his daddy.

"Dean, we need to make a decision, I love you, I want to be with you, sweep me off my feet, carry me to the impala and drive us off into the metaphorical sunset?" Cas asked, wide blue eyes staring lovingly at his contemplative partner.

_I remember we were driving driving in your car_

_The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk_

_City lights lay out before us_

_And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder_

_And I had a feeling that I belonged_

_And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone_

Dean's arm shot out, grasping Castiel's wrist, and tugged sharply sending the smaller man sprawling onto his lap, and nuzzled his chin into the wiry spikes of raven hair owned by his love. Remember with fondness the first time they had met, Dean had been gone to get some groceries from the local convenience store, and lost in his own thoughts, had ploughed into a dark haired man who was busily stacking shelves. Dean's muscular frame had successfully pinned the slender man to the lino floor of the store, thoroughly embarrassed, Dean had sprung up, hauling the stranger who he'd just flattened with him. After a stuttered apology, he offered to take the other man out for a drink, to apologise.

"Hey Cas, remember the first time we met? Speeding down the highway, dodging through the traffic, and you looked so giddy, I thought you were drunk" Dean enquired, and beneath him, he felt Cas's head nod in response. "Good, cause I feel like recreating that moment, I want to do it Cas. Let's get in the impala, and drive, and just keep driving." At his lovers words, Castiel sprung up, and headed for his room, presumably to pack. His excited voice echoed through the apartment, and Dean chuckled in spite of himself, Castiel was nothing like the awkward, shy man he'd met at the store that day. Rushing out of the room less than five minutes later, clothes and personal affects, haphazardly stuffed in a bag, the couple had left the squalid apartment block, dropping the keys off at the land lord's office on the other side of the building.

_You got a fast car_

_And we go cruising to entertain ourselves_

_You still ain't got a job_

_And I work in a market as a checkout girl_

_I know things will get better_

_You'll find work and I'll get promoted_

_We'll move out of the shelter_

_Buy a big house and live in the suburbs_

It had been three months since they two men had packed up shop, hopped in the impala and driven clear across state lines, each basking in the others presence. The first few nights they had slept in the impala, until they reached Kentucky Tennessee where they'd tracked Sam down to a moderate flat in the city, the younger man was over-joyed to see his brother and his significant other, and had put them up in the spare room, grinning like a lunatic the entire day. Glad to finally have his brother back with him.

Dean was still looking for a permanent job, and Castiel had found work in a small shop down town, working as a cashier, they still lived in Sam's home with –much to Dean's surprise- Gabriel Novak, an estranged cousin of Castiel's and Sammy's boyfriend, whom he had met at college. While he relished living with his brother, and watching Gabe and Cas reunite, he wanted to one day be able to move out of his brother's home, and into his own little house in the suburbs with his fiancé.

_You got a fast car_

_And I got a job that pays all our bills_

_You stay out drinking late at the bar_

_See more of your friends than you do of your kids_

_I'd always hoped for better_

_Thought maybe together you and me would find it_

_I got no plans I ain't going nowhere_

_So take your fast car and keep on driving_

A year later and things between Dean and Cas where strained, they'd moved out of Sam's place six months prior into their own little flat a few blocks away. From that point on, things had spiralled downwards, Dean was still struggling to find work, and Cas spent more time at the bar with his work buddies than he did with Dean and their pet Jack Russell Bobby whom they treated like a child. Dean had hoped that by finally escaping the toxic presence of his father, the occasionally unstable periods their relationship experienced would stop, unfortunately, it seemed to do the exact opposite.

Most nights Castiel would stumble home drunk, reeking of cigarette smoke and perfume. One night in late May, after Castiel appeared even later than usual Dean's patience finally snapped.

"I can't live like this anymore Cas. I barely see you anymore, all we seem to do is argue and I hate it. I ain't got no damn plans, so you take that fancy ass car your company gave you, and you drive and you keep fucking driving. Cause clearly I don't mean a god damn thing to you anymore!" He yelled, crushing the empty tumbler of whiskey in his hand by accident, the shards cutting deep into his palm.

"Dean, I…" Cas began, startled by his lovers outburst, sure they argued, but never before had Dean told him to leave.

_You got a fast car_

_But is it fast enough so you can fly away_

_You gotta make a decision_

_You leave tonight or live and die this way_

"Save it Cas, you can fly away, I won't keep you hear, but you need to make a decision, you can leave tonight, and erase me from your heart, or you stay with me, we live and die this way, it's your call." Dean cut his lover off, tears building in his soft viridian orbs. And at that moment, Castiel realised just how much pain he'd been causing his lover, Dean never cried. They'd scream and shout and then fall into bed, making angry, passionate love, but never had tears been shed, and the sheer conviction in Dean's eyes made the renegade beauty take stock of his behaviour over the last few months. Starting forward, he wrapped his arms around the muscled waist of his fiancé and pulled him close, whispering soft nothings in Dean's ear as he crumpled, burying his head into the crook of Castiel's neck, hot, salty tears tracing a bitter trail down the plains of the blondes face.

"I love you Dean, and I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry for how I've been acting. I guess I got caught up in finally being completely free and independent, and I didn't realise how I was hurting you. I never want to leave you, I don't want to lose you, without you, my world is empty and cold." Cas whispered, placing soft kisses on his sobbing boyfriends hairline, rocking him gently as they stood, clinging to each other like life rafts in the turbulent, angst filled pit that their relationship had spiralled into.

Dean looked up at his reason for living, and stared deep into his blue eyes, so filled with sorrow and remorse, and in that moment, he realised that no matter what, they would get through this, and they would be stronger for it, placing a soft, chaste kiss on the full, pink lips of his fiancé, Dean smiled a watery smile. Blood was steadily flowing out of the lacerations on the calloused palms of the crying man, collecting in a macabre pool at their feet

"Come love. I'll make you some tea, and sort your poor hand, then we'll get you to bed, and then tomorrow, we'll spend the entire day together, doing whatever you want, alright?" Cas asked, leaning down to kiss the bloody hand of the sobbing blonde, who had only just realised that he had shards of glass embedded deep in his hand. As Dean let himself be lead to the leather sofa of their living room, his heart warmed slightly, watching as his lover headed to the kitchen for the medical kit they kept stashed under the sink. It would be a long, hard journey to repair the fractured relationship, but Dean knew that they'd make it through, and emerge, stronger than ever.

Yes, I know Cas was OOC but I needed him to be that way for the story to work. I'd appreciate feedback, but flames are unpleasant and make me feel bad, so they wouldn't be as appreciated. xoxoxo


End file.
